I want to be a rock star! Yup, I want to be in back stage holding my acoustic guitar listening to thousands of screaming and yelling fans begging for an encore. I would then slowly walk back on stage, with spotlight directly on me, I would sit on a stool, take the guitar pick out of my mouth and address the crowd, with a voice of gratitude and humility…I would say…”thank you…” and start strumming a beautiful tune, follow by a song that would move the fans to tears. Not all will be crying though…there will be a few that were dragged to the concert and are refusing to participate due to their bitterness of my success, but deep inside we all know what they are thinking…..”I want to be a rock star too.”
How many people do you know do what they love to do for a living? Or, how many people just love their job? Not too many people I know. Even those I know start out in the field or industry they felt they were destined to be in and even passionate about and they end up tired, stressed and overwhelmed with the pressure of the “job”. Some get bored of the monotonous day to day, 9 to 5 answering emails and putting out fires…it just loses it’s flavor over the years and the passion becomes….just a job.
Sound familiar? This has been the phase I’ve been in for the last 4 years. I can’t shake it off. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my career. In this down economy, I am grateful to be working for a solid company, great benefits and a salary. So why can’t I be okay with that? Isn’t this the life we all wanted? Stability, predictability, security. I worked hard to get here. So why am I feeling the way I am feeling? Do I have this typical entitled mentality that no matter what I am doing or where I am in life, I am dissatisfied and want more?
When is it time to change? Or do I even change at all? From the book “Half Time” by Bob Buford, he lists (3) scenarios that people do during this time of transition: Some simply bear down, reasoning that they need more discipline, more focus. Some turn to diversions, both healthy and reckless. Most, enter a sort of sleepwalking stage during which they force themselves to hold on until retirement. I don’t think any of these options will make the second half of your life better than the first, and they may, in fact, make it worse.
I am searching…to find myself? To find my passion and my destiny? Maybe this has nothing to do with my job/career, maybe it’s something I just need to deal within. In the meantime, I am going to pull out my guitar from the case and work on that strumming of that beautiful tune….for my encore of course.