It’s been an interesting week as we prepare for our first child’s (Isaac’s) departure to college. I have mixed emotions but mostly, I am in denial. I keep telling myself that everything will still be the same; we just won’t see him as often. As a busy teenager, we don’t see him that much anyways. But, something happens emotionally when I pass by the big pile of his new items that have been bought and prepared for him to take to college. My wife says she’s “nesting,” not for a nursery but for a dorm room. It’s her way of preparing for him and also for herself: a new pillow with his new pillow case, his new bedding for his new bed, a new lamp to light up his own new dorm room, a shower caddy, a laundry basket backpack (pretty cool idea). I’m not sure why something stirs up inside of me when I see this pile, I guess maybe because it’s a reminder of our new chapter, a chapter without our son, a chapter that we are not fully prepared for. Who will take care of him?
In college, my friend and I wrote a song about a mother eagle who teaches her young to fly. How interesting that we are now living in the midst of verse one of the song where the baby is ready to leave the nest.
Interesting facts about eagles…did you know that eagles nests’ tend to be rather large? It’s for preparing a “fledgling”. For months, the baby eagle, having watched their parents, practices hopping and flapping from one end of the nest to the other. They perch on branches above or right next to the nest before finally taking the plunge out into thin air. The parents are always nearby observing. The fledglings become successful when they finally use their wings to soar gracefully out into the world.
I wonder if at this point, the mama and the papa eagle feel the thrill of satisfaction and joy at watching their baby launch themselves. I wonder how many times the mama and the papa eagle look back with regret and concern about their parenting mistakes and wonder if everything was done well enough to prepare them for the hurdles and challenges they have to face on their own?
like an eagle that stirs up its nest
and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them
and carries them aloft.
The Lord alone led him;
no foreign god was with him.
– Deuteronomy 32:11-12
These verses are so powerful to me right now. They’re reminding me that it’s by God’s power, mercy and love that He has tended to Isaac so amazingly in the midst of our often inconsistent, sometimes blind and always fumbling efforts! He has made his wings strong and given him a strong sense of his destiny as His beloved child. I am reminded that He’s in control and that Isaac is His.
I am kind of all messed up right now…it’s helping me get out of my denial stage into the reality. The reality of God’s sovereignty, the reality of God’s amazing grace and the reality of His undying love for us and for our baby eagle who’s ready to soar. God will spread His wings to catch him when he falls and God will carry him aloft. HE will take care of him.
2 comments: On Who will take care of him?
Hanju: How exciting and scary and a huge change for you and Maria. Your story reminds me of what my parents told me when they dropped me off at college and were empty nesters. Denial for sure, but as believers knew that God has His best angels with me. And so I know with you and Maria’s love for the Lord that God has His bestest top-notch Angels surrounding and always being with Issac.
I’m excited for Issac and the next chapter in his life. And I am excited for you and Maria too having an “only child” at home. Love you guys!
Thanks Esther! You are such an encourager and a great friend. We are too excited for our “only child at home” but she’s not showing as much excitement as she should. Maybe she’s in denial…lol.