I am conflicted. Everything I read, all the motivational videos I watch, and all the conversation I’ve been in seem to revolve around how to be the best of the best. It revolves around the story of the one who made it, the one who beat all the odds to get to the top. The one who made millions. The one who dreamt big, set goals, ignored the naysayers and stayed motivated for the prize.

I am not naturally ambitious. In fact, my dad realized this earlier on in my life and decided that if he doesn’t push me, I will never make it in this world. So he pushed. He demanded so much and if I didn’t meet up to his expectation, he responded with anger, threat, and verbally bullied me…using the words like, “why are you so stupid? or “you’ll never become anything if you keep this up”, or even “I am so disappointed that you can’t accomplish what all your friends are accomplishing”. His philosophy was to anger me into his submission…that I would be so outraged at him…even filled with hatred, that my only response would be to prove him wrong with my life. That would be the ultimate revenge. That was his strategy to motive me to become “the great”.

It didn’t work.

I kept falling behind and eventually decided that the only way to combat this conflict in my life is to totally ignore it. In fact, I wanted it to just flip it. I decided to be completely careless and not even try. Then I can say, “you know what dad? I am not stupid…I just didn’t try”. Good logic.

I am reading a book called Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future. Well, gosh darn it, here’s a guy that my dad would have loved. Currently, in 2020, he has a net worth of 57.9 billion dollars, yes, I said billion. He is a unique leader, thinker, doer…the book talks about how he really isn’t driven by money…he is driven by ideas that fundamentally change the way we live. He’s driven by ideas that are futuristic, beyond innovative, and even impossible…and guess what? He makes it happen.

I get that there are Elon Musks in this world. In fact, there are lots of them. The top athletes in every sport, the brilliant business entrepreneurs, the top CEO’s large corporations, the scholars, the Nobel prize winners, the famous artists…the list goes on and on. They all have their own stories of overcoming incredible obstacles in their lives that will inspire.

But then, there are the rest of us. We are the ordinary. And we outnumber the people of greatness. In fact, most of us are in quite the conundrum, and like me, we are picking up the self-help books, constantly flipping through and watching the latest fad on youtube on how I can step up my life game and I try to find and associate myself with the “great one” thinking that their ora would rub off on me a bit…well, at least I can name drop who I know so others can think I run around in their circles, and that I have a potential to be one of “the great” too someday.

I honestly hate this game. It reminds me of the good ol days of being reminded that I just am not good enough. I just don’t measure up to the greatness of others.

But wait, what if I got it all wrong? What if the greatness is in the ordinary? What if the simplicity of our lives would mean that we live it fulfilling just our few simple promises that we made to each other and repeat our simple, uneventful days over and over again? Of course with one simple thing in common…we would live it with the people we love.

What if our status, our accomplishments, our net worth, our intelligence, and our talents didn’t really mean that much compared to our relationships? What if we, the ordinary people stayed ordinary and not be so obsessed with being “the great”? Do you know what I think? I think this is the secret to finding true joy and fulfillment in your life. No one writes a book about how to be ordinary, but if they did, I would read it, and I would be inspired because I think being ordinary somehow makes us extraordinary.